Though I never got to see your face, know that I think of you and wish we could have met today....
I didn't see you planting your roots so deep
until today
I didn't hear your footsteps walking away
until today
in the dark corners where no one goes, you are
exposed; revealed; renewed in time.
I mourn the canvas where your face should be
But your hello and goodbye dyed my life a deeper shade of grateful
for the things we say farewell to
for sisterhood's droplets of strength
and for fresh buds that will blossom in the spring.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
"Mother's Day"
My first two official Mother's Days weren't great, I'll be honest. Although there was a certain special novelty to finally being able to celebrate this milestone in my life, my first was spent shut in a spare room with a screaming 1-month-old who woke up and demanded to be fed at the exact moment dinner was being served. She proceeded to take 40 minutes to nurse, then had a massive, change-all-clothing poop incident. By the time I got out of there, dessert was almost over. My second Mother's Day was literally spent enduring a painful reminder that there are no guarantees in motherhood; our bodies and emotions are always fully exposed, vulnerable to what life will bring and take away. Sometimes irony irks me.
So I've decided that MY true Mother's Day is the day when, several months ago, my firstborn decided to make the word "Mommy" part of her vocabulary. She started saying "Dada" and then "Daddy" quite early in her life, probably before she even hit 6 months of age. She began to use the M sound once in awhile, but not very directly to me. Sometimes she would babble "mamamamamama" when she was crying. Hmph.
Then, on a date I can't remember and couldn't care less about, she finally took this step as a toddler and announced to me my role in her life. "Mommy," she said (though it sounded like Mammy, which is even cuter). "Mommymommymommymommy". MOMMY. Knowing my child as I do, I suspect that she chose to wait even though she'd long had the ability to speak this word. She didn't want to go through phases of awkwardly or incorrectly saying Mama before adapting it and perfecting it to Mommy; she didn't want to say it until she grasped its full meaning and gave it to me as a precious gift. It blew me away.
Every night when I put her to bed, I sit with her in the near-dark while she drinks her bottle. She finishes and hands the bottle off, and snuggles in close to me in a prolonged stillness that is rare throughout the rest of her day. "Say mommy," I always whisper. She pauses. "Mmmmmmammy," she'll whisper back with a little smile.
I know a time will come when hearing "Mommy" shouted/whined/cried repeatedly at me is going to get old and irritating. For now, hearing that searching voice calling for me when I'm upstairs, or asking me for more snack, or recognizing me across the room after an absence.... it's the best gift she could ever give me and I still cherish it every single time.
Thank you, Aven, for giving me my REAL Mother's Day.
So I've decided that MY true Mother's Day is the day when, several months ago, my firstborn decided to make the word "Mommy" part of her vocabulary. She started saying "Dada" and then "Daddy" quite early in her life, probably before she even hit 6 months of age. She began to use the M sound once in awhile, but not very directly to me. Sometimes she would babble "mamamamamama" when she was crying. Hmph.
Then, on a date I can't remember and couldn't care less about, she finally took this step as a toddler and announced to me my role in her life. "Mommy," she said (though it sounded like Mammy, which is even cuter). "Mommymommymommymommy". MOMMY. Knowing my child as I do, I suspect that she chose to wait even though she'd long had the ability to speak this word. She didn't want to go through phases of awkwardly or incorrectly saying Mama before adapting it and perfecting it to Mommy; she didn't want to say it until she grasped its full meaning and gave it to me as a precious gift. It blew me away.
Every night when I put her to bed, I sit with her in the near-dark while she drinks her bottle. She finishes and hands the bottle off, and snuggles in close to me in a prolonged stillness that is rare throughout the rest of her day. "Say mommy," I always whisper. She pauses. "Mmmmmmammy," she'll whisper back with a little smile.
I know a time will come when hearing "Mommy" shouted/whined/cried repeatedly at me is going to get old and irritating. For now, hearing that searching voice calling for me when I'm upstairs, or asking me for more snack, or recognizing me across the room after an absence.... it's the best gift she could ever give me and I still cherish it every single time.
Thank you, Aven, for giving me my REAL Mother's Day.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The Vocabulary Update
Aven's Current Words (and how she pronounces them).
baby (bee bee!)
daddy
doggy
kitty (giddy or key-ee)
ducky
bottle (baw-uhl)
book (buk)
ball
bunny (buddy or bubby)
papa
this (iss or dis)
hi
bye bye
hello (hi-oh)
uh-oh
belly (beh-hee or beddy)
crocs (gocs)
all gone/all done (all-doh/all-goh), usually accompanied by a shrug with palms turned up... justin taught her this one and it's adorable!
she does say other words and sounds but these are the ones she always uses in context and will respond to (like if i ask her where her ducky or ball is, she'll look for it and go get it)
baby (bee bee!)
daddy
doggy
kitty (giddy or key-ee)
ducky
bottle (baw-uhl)
book (buk)
ball
bunny (buddy or bubby)
papa
this (iss or dis)
hi
bye bye
hello (hi-oh)
uh-oh
belly (beh-hee or beddy)
crocs (gocs)
all gone/all done (all-doh/all-goh), usually accompanied by a shrug with palms turned up... justin taught her this one and it's adorable!
she does say other words and sounds but these are the ones she always uses in context and will respond to (like if i ask her where her ducky or ball is, she'll look for it and go get it)
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
One Year
Dear Aven,
You are 14 months old. I've been putting off writing your 12-month letter because I'm very busy with work and our new house, but also because it nearly hurts my heart to have to stop and think about you being a year older than that tiny bundle that arrived in my arms yesterday. Only it wasn't yesterday anymore.
The day you were born, my world stopped moving. And I couldn't grasp onto the world around me that kept on going. When that first April turned into May, I wanted to question my sanity.... how did three weeks go by without me knowing? I was so wrapped up in you that I lost a sense of time. And as every month passed, the feeling of a loss of something grew deeper and heavier. It's not a bad thing; it's just unexplainable and surreal. To see something be born into existence burns an eternal marker onto us; anything before that date is "normal", and everything after it is spent in awe of that first day, because one day you weren't there and then suddenly you were. Birth is something that I don't know if the human mind is capable of fully accepting.
Now, as I go back to work two days a week and enter 2007 billing dates into a computer, my mind constantly jumps back to those hours, days, and months of our first year and what we might have been doing together. July? Probably out for a walk with the stroller, to get the mail and hope you fell asleep. December? Bundling you up in your snowsuit and making mad dashes to shovel the path while you napped (for half an hour, of course). So many memories, my little love. My heart can't contain them. How will I keep hold of them AND add on all the new ones as time keeps racing past?
For your birthday we "gave" you a very special gift that i'm so sorry isn't coming anymore. We don't know why some things happen, but we want you to know and understand that God always takes care of us, and plans for us, and loves us no matter what. We also have a new sense of how unbelievably blessed we are to have you in our lives. You were so wanted, and you bring us ridiculous amounts of joy every single day. The light you bring into our home makes us want 25 of you (maybe... if you napped better). You are strong-willed and clever, so we know we have to be ten steps ahead of you at all times, but the depth and intensity of your personality makes you an undeniable presence that we cannot imagine living without. We are blatantly addicted to you. We feed off of your accomplishments and idiosyncrasies, trying to log each and every one of them into our emotional ledger, so that we can store them up and refer back to them later when we need to feel that precious heart-squeeze that only comes from seeing your firstborn grow up.
Love you forever,
Mommy
You are 14 months old. I've been putting off writing your 12-month letter because I'm very busy with work and our new house, but also because it nearly hurts my heart to have to stop and think about you being a year older than that tiny bundle that arrived in my arms yesterday. Only it wasn't yesterday anymore.
The day you were born, my world stopped moving. And I couldn't grasp onto the world around me that kept on going. When that first April turned into May, I wanted to question my sanity.... how did three weeks go by without me knowing? I was so wrapped up in you that I lost a sense of time. And as every month passed, the feeling of a loss of something grew deeper and heavier. It's not a bad thing; it's just unexplainable and surreal. To see something be born into existence burns an eternal marker onto us; anything before that date is "normal", and everything after it is spent in awe of that first day, because one day you weren't there and then suddenly you were. Birth is something that I don't know if the human mind is capable of fully accepting.
Now, as I go back to work two days a week and enter 2007 billing dates into a computer, my mind constantly jumps back to those hours, days, and months of our first year and what we might have been doing together. July? Probably out for a walk with the stroller, to get the mail and hope you fell asleep. December? Bundling you up in your snowsuit and making mad dashes to shovel the path while you napped (for half an hour, of course). So many memories, my little love. My heart can't contain them. How will I keep hold of them AND add on all the new ones as time keeps racing past?
For your birthday we "gave" you a very special gift that i'm so sorry isn't coming anymore. We don't know why some things happen, but we want you to know and understand that God always takes care of us, and plans for us, and loves us no matter what. We also have a new sense of how unbelievably blessed we are to have you in our lives. You were so wanted, and you bring us ridiculous amounts of joy every single day. The light you bring into our home makes us want 25 of you (maybe... if you napped better). You are strong-willed and clever, so we know we have to be ten steps ahead of you at all times, but the depth and intensity of your personality makes you an undeniable presence that we cannot imagine living without. We are blatantly addicted to you. We feed off of your accomplishments and idiosyncrasies, trying to log each and every one of them into our emotional ledger, so that we can store them up and refer back to them later when we need to feel that precious heart-squeeze that only comes from seeing your firstborn grow up.
Love you forever,
Mommy
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
11 Months
Dear Aven,
Your 11th month brought so many new things into our lives! One of the fan favourites is "kick like a dolphin" ; before bathtime, we get you all stripped down naked, then hold you up high and say "kick like a dophin!" until you start flapping your rigid little body like scissors opening and closing! Muma and Papa wait for it every night before bed.
You also have learned how to clap... on demand! I'll say "where's your clap clap clap?" and you smile at me and throw your hands together... sometimes you miss, but that's even cuter. Another fine motor skill that you FINALLY learned is how to put your own soother in your mouth! AVEN! Why did it take this long! It makes my life much easier. A really cute part of it too is that if you stick it in upside down, you do a little twirl trick with it to right it.
You have a new favourite food: avodcado! When I first put some little pieces on your tray, you weren't too sure. But once you tasted it, you just couldn't get enough of that slimy green stuff. Lots of good fats in there, so eat up!
One day Muma and I took you to the Purple Turtle, a baby and kids store in Exeter. When we walked in with you, you looked around at all the stuff, wide-eyed, and exclaimed "ho-LEE! ho-LEE!" We both had quite the laugh over that one!
I'm excited to tell you that our new home is almost ready to move into. I can't wait for you to grow up there, Aven. I can't wait to lay on the grass with you on our lawn, and take walks down our country road. I love thinking about all the things we'll do and how I'll get to see you turn from a baby, into a toddler, and into a kid while we live there. It's scary to think about! But I know we will make strong and beautiful memories there.
Love,
Mommy
Your 11th month brought so many new things into our lives! One of the fan favourites is "kick like a dolphin" ; before bathtime, we get you all stripped down naked, then hold you up high and say "kick like a dophin!" until you start flapping your rigid little body like scissors opening and closing! Muma and Papa wait for it every night before bed.
You also have learned how to clap... on demand! I'll say "where's your clap clap clap?" and you smile at me and throw your hands together... sometimes you miss, but that's even cuter. Another fine motor skill that you FINALLY learned is how to put your own soother in your mouth! AVEN! Why did it take this long! It makes my life much easier. A really cute part of it too is that if you stick it in upside down, you do a little twirl trick with it to right it.
You have a new favourite food: avodcado! When I first put some little pieces on your tray, you weren't too sure. But once you tasted it, you just couldn't get enough of that slimy green stuff. Lots of good fats in there, so eat up!
One day Muma and I took you to the Purple Turtle, a baby and kids store in Exeter. When we walked in with you, you looked around at all the stuff, wide-eyed, and exclaimed "ho-LEE! ho-LEE!" We both had quite the laugh over that one!
I'm excited to tell you that our new home is almost ready to move into. I can't wait for you to grow up there, Aven. I can't wait to lay on the grass with you on our lawn, and take walks down our country road. I love thinking about all the things we'll do and how I'll get to see you turn from a baby, into a toddler, and into a kid while we live there. It's scary to think about! But I know we will make strong and beautiful memories there.
Love,
Mommy
10 Months (photos delayed due to moving)
Dear Aven,
This month has brought some big changes for us, and I need to stop and thank you for being such a flexible and accommodating baby. We packed up and moved out of our house, then moved into Uncle Tyler and Auntie's apartment for 2 weeks, then moved to Muma and Poppa's, where we still are! At the apartment I couldn't believe how well you slept ... they live on the intersection of two highways and the trucks and snowlpows going by sounded like jets taking off! You did struggle a little bit with me leaving the room after putting you in bed, mostly because the floors were very creaky and it woke you up and made you realize I was leaving. I had to become an expert floor-creak-locater, otherwise I would remain, trapped, in the room where you were sleeping! At Muma and Poppa's house you have been sleeping better than you have in your entire life. It's crazy, because you're in a playpen, in the same room as me. And yet you sleep from 7:30 to 6:30 straight? With only a slight peep now and then? I'm baffled. Especially because a yappy dog lives here.
Muma has a fox that lives on top of her cupboards, and you love him. We'll say "where is your fox? Wave to your fox!" and you'll scan all the vases until you see him, then you'll break into a huge smile and wave to him! You now have an adorable variation to the wave... we call it the "no, no, no!". It's when you combine the pointing with the waving into a cute little finger-wag scold.. and now that we've said "no, no, no!" every time you do it, you know to make the gesture of it when we say no! Stop being so cute. It's really not fair to any of us.
Although you're cute, you also have a wee temper. The other day I was feeding you some carrots on a little plastic baby fork, and you took the fork right out of my hand and fed yourself (this is amazing, by the way, but not the point of my story). Since then you've continued to do this little trick, but when I go to take the fork back and put more food on it, you get VERY. POSSESSIVE. OF. THE. FORK. You hold it with an iron grip, make a menacing whine noise, give me a threatening look and WIELD THAT FORK AT ME. The other day when you did it in front of Daddy, he looked at me in shock and said "I'm a little scared!" Oh, my little monkey. You are so much personality in a tiny little package.
You have also started responding to a game that Daddy and his brothers all played when they were little. We say "how big is Aven?" in romanian (I have no idea how to spell it, but it sounds like "COO-tay de MAR-dia!" and you throw your hands up into the air and smile. The first few times we did it you had no idea what was going on... but it didn't take long for you to catch on. HOWEVER... you are usually selective about wanting to respond when we ask.. even though I KNOW you know what I'm asking! I can literally see the request register in your brain and your eyes twinkle and you smirk a little bit. And then do nothing. On the other hand, sometimes out of nowhere you'll throw your hands up and give me a wide-eyed, expectant look so that I'll say it!
This month you also taught yourself how to play hide-and seek... you were in the bathroom with me and you grabbed hold of the shower curtain and pulled it between you and I... then pulled it away and laughed! I said "where's Aven?" and you did it again! Funny that I never taught you this, but you found it hilarious.
Your love affair with the Small Hole has not only continued, but it has escalated. Nevermind the first 8 pages in Pat the Bunny, Mom. Just get to the good part... where Paul puts his finger through Mummy's ring. That's the best one of all! You love to play with Muma's steel colander because it has hundreds of tiny holes... you sit there and caress them like old friends. And now that we're giving you a bath at Muma's house, where there are jets in the tub, you're just in heaven. A bath... that's fun on its own. A bath surrounded by small holes? JACKPOT.
As we get closer and closer to your first birthday, the more I want to hold you tightly and not let it happen. I have tasted the bittersweetness that I've heard so many parents marvel at constantly. How does this happen? How can my little newborn become this child? One day she didn't know what I was saying.. the next day she knows a phrase and follows it like a command! There's something about the speed at which children grow that rips across the surface of a parent's strength and security, and exposes a very raw vulnerability. Emotion like this isn't necessarily a bad thing... in fact, it causes us to appreciate our blessings and try to live each day more fully.. but it still leaves us open to so much heartache and mourning.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Love,
Mommy
This month has brought some big changes for us, and I need to stop and thank you for being such a flexible and accommodating baby. We packed up and moved out of our house, then moved into Uncle Tyler and Auntie's apartment for 2 weeks, then moved to Muma and Poppa's, where we still are! At the apartment I couldn't believe how well you slept ... they live on the intersection of two highways and the trucks and snowlpows going by sounded like jets taking off! You did struggle a little bit with me leaving the room after putting you in bed, mostly because the floors were very creaky and it woke you up and made you realize I was leaving. I had to become an expert floor-creak-locater, otherwise I would remain, trapped, in the room where you were sleeping! At Muma and Poppa's house you have been sleeping better than you have in your entire life. It's crazy, because you're in a playpen, in the same room as me. And yet you sleep from 7:30 to 6:30 straight? With only a slight peep now and then? I'm baffled. Especially because a yappy dog lives here.
Muma has a fox that lives on top of her cupboards, and you love him. We'll say "where is your fox? Wave to your fox!" and you'll scan all the vases until you see him, then you'll break into a huge smile and wave to him! You now have an adorable variation to the wave... we call it the "no, no, no!". It's when you combine the pointing with the waving into a cute little finger-wag scold.. and now that we've said "no, no, no!" every time you do it, you know to make the gesture of it when we say no! Stop being so cute. It's really not fair to any of us.
Although you're cute, you also have a wee temper. The other day I was feeding you some carrots on a little plastic baby fork, and you took the fork right out of my hand and fed yourself (this is amazing, by the way, but not the point of my story). Since then you've continued to do this little trick, but when I go to take the fork back and put more food on it, you get VERY. POSSESSIVE. OF. THE. FORK. You hold it with an iron grip, make a menacing whine noise, give me a threatening look and WIELD THAT FORK AT ME. The other day when you did it in front of Daddy, he looked at me in shock and said "I'm a little scared!" Oh, my little monkey. You are so much personality in a tiny little package.
You have also started responding to a game that Daddy and his brothers all played when they were little. We say "how big is Aven?" in romanian (I have no idea how to spell it, but it sounds like "COO-tay de MAR-dia!" and you throw your hands up into the air and smile. The first few times we did it you had no idea what was going on... but it didn't take long for you to catch on. HOWEVER... you are usually selective about wanting to respond when we ask.. even though I KNOW you know what I'm asking! I can literally see the request register in your brain and your eyes twinkle and you smirk a little bit. And then do nothing. On the other hand, sometimes out of nowhere you'll throw your hands up and give me a wide-eyed, expectant look so that I'll say it!
This month you also taught yourself how to play hide-and seek... you were in the bathroom with me and you grabbed hold of the shower curtain and pulled it between you and I... then pulled it away and laughed! I said "where's Aven?" and you did it again! Funny that I never taught you this, but you found it hilarious.
Your love affair with the Small Hole has not only continued, but it has escalated. Nevermind the first 8 pages in Pat the Bunny, Mom. Just get to the good part... where Paul puts his finger through Mummy's ring. That's the best one of all! You love to play with Muma's steel colander because it has hundreds of tiny holes... you sit there and caress them like old friends. And now that we're giving you a bath at Muma's house, where there are jets in the tub, you're just in heaven. A bath... that's fun on its own. A bath surrounded by small holes? JACKPOT.
As we get closer and closer to your first birthday, the more I want to hold you tightly and not let it happen. I have tasted the bittersweetness that I've heard so many parents marvel at constantly. How does this happen? How can my little newborn become this child? One day she didn't know what I was saying.. the next day she knows a phrase and follows it like a command! There's something about the speed at which children grow that rips across the surface of a parent's strength and security, and exposes a very raw vulnerability. Emotion like this isn't necessarily a bad thing... in fact, it causes us to appreciate our blessings and try to live each day more fully.. but it still leaves us open to so much heartache and mourning.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, January 31, 2008
9 Months (photos will be delayed due to moving)
Dear Aven,
Yet again I'm writing this letter late, but so much is going on in our lives and I can't wait for you to see our new house! Hopefully we can move in two weeks from now.
This past month was an exponential explosion of new things you started to do. First, you became a waveaholic. Not only do you like to wave at every person, thing, clock, face and tractor, but you often get BOTH hands going, just to make it really clear that you're saying hi or bye. You can click your tongue back at us when we make that sound. You also became much more snuggly with us, and you'll lean in close and rest your head on our necks or shoulders, sometimes only briefly, but it's an incredible feeling. You're pointing with your index finger, and along with that is your new best friend... the Small Hole. I've never seen such a funny fixation... you are OBSESSED with the Small Hole. And they are everywhere... on the backs of remotes and toys (to hids screws), on your bath seat, on my face in the form of a nostril, in the middle of cheerios that you now love to pick up and eat, on the top of your juice bottle, so that you get cross-eyed looking at and touching it while you drink. You just cannot keep that little pointer finger away from small holes... I swear it's like a magnetic force.
You love to pick up little pieces of food now and eat them. When you first started this skill, it was incredibly funny to watch you grasp it and aim for your mouth, but drop it on the way and then look around, bewildered, when you couldn't find it anywhere. But it only took a few days and many cheerios for you to master your new talent.
We celebrated your very first Christmas and it was so much fun to spoil you and try to show you all the exciting and special things about this holiday. I know that next year you'll be able to understand it more and anticipate it, but there's still something meaningful about your first one. I took you to see Santa at the mall, and you were picture-perfect on his knee!
This month I did something drastic to the way I look... I went from having dark brown hair to very light blonde hair, and I was kind of worried that you would be scared or not know me. You absolutely made my day when I came home from the salon, and the first thing you did was reach out and touch my hair and SMILE! It's like you knew, and you were encouraging me that you liked it. You're the best.
Your vocabulary is coming along. You now regularly say mama, dada, baba, nana and sometimes lala. And I SWEAR you said a form of "kitty"... it sounded more like "key-ey", but you were looking at and reaching for one of the cats when you said it, so I'm convinced. Let's get that application to Harvard started, pronto.
Some days I just can't stop squeezing you and plastering your cheeks with kisses. You have the finest set of cheeks I've ever tasted and smelled. I never ever want to forget how delicious they are, even when you're fifteen and covered with pimples. I'll buy you some oxy. Yes, I love you THAT much.
Love,
Mommy
P.S. This month you also learned how to roll a ball back and forth with me on the floor! It's so much fun to sit and play that with you. The first day you learned it, I would ask "are you proud?" everytime you rolled it to me... and every time you would shake your head no!
Yet again I'm writing this letter late, but so much is going on in our lives and I can't wait for you to see our new house! Hopefully we can move in two weeks from now.
This past month was an exponential explosion of new things you started to do. First, you became a waveaholic. Not only do you like to wave at every person, thing, clock, face and tractor, but you often get BOTH hands going, just to make it really clear that you're saying hi or bye. You can click your tongue back at us when we make that sound. You also became much more snuggly with us, and you'll lean in close and rest your head on our necks or shoulders, sometimes only briefly, but it's an incredible feeling. You're pointing with your index finger, and along with that is your new best friend... the Small Hole. I've never seen such a funny fixation... you are OBSESSED with the Small Hole. And they are everywhere... on the backs of remotes and toys (to hids screws), on your bath seat, on my face in the form of a nostril, in the middle of cheerios that you now love to pick up and eat, on the top of your juice bottle, so that you get cross-eyed looking at and touching it while you drink. You just cannot keep that little pointer finger away from small holes... I swear it's like a magnetic force.
You love to pick up little pieces of food now and eat them. When you first started this skill, it was incredibly funny to watch you grasp it and aim for your mouth, but drop it on the way and then look around, bewildered, when you couldn't find it anywhere. But it only took a few days and many cheerios for you to master your new talent.
We celebrated your very first Christmas and it was so much fun to spoil you and try to show you all the exciting and special things about this holiday. I know that next year you'll be able to understand it more and anticipate it, but there's still something meaningful about your first one. I took you to see Santa at the mall, and you were picture-perfect on his knee!
This month I did something drastic to the way I look... I went from having dark brown hair to very light blonde hair, and I was kind of worried that you would be scared or not know me. You absolutely made my day when I came home from the salon, and the first thing you did was reach out and touch my hair and SMILE! It's like you knew, and you were encouraging me that you liked it. You're the best.
Your vocabulary is coming along. You now regularly say mama, dada, baba, nana and sometimes lala. And I SWEAR you said a form of "kitty"... it sounded more like "key-ey", but you were looking at and reaching for one of the cats when you said it, so I'm convinced. Let's get that application to Harvard started, pronto.
Some days I just can't stop squeezing you and plastering your cheeks with kisses. You have the finest set of cheeks I've ever tasted and smelled. I never ever want to forget how delicious they are, even when you're fifteen and covered with pimples. I'll buy you some oxy. Yes, I love you THAT much.
Love,
Mommy
P.S. This month you also learned how to roll a ball back and forth with me on the floor! It's so much fun to sit and play that with you. The first day you learned it, I would ask "are you proud?" everytime you rolled it to me... and every time you would shake your head no!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
8 Months
Dear Aven,
I'm sorry this letter is so late (almost time for your 9-month letter!). Things have been busy around here and we're all going to be moving soon. More about that later!
This month we took a BIG weekend trip! Your daddy used to play in a band, and we wanted to spend time with all the people he used to play with. We took a 5-hour drive and stayed two nights with Brad and Erin in Huntsville. You were so much fun all weekend, and Erin even said afterwards that she kept forgetting there was even a baby in the house! Thank you for always being so entertaining, accomodating, and just plain cute. You're easy to show off.
This month your sleeping took a major turn... for the better! One night, during your usual half-an-hour-into-sleep wake-up, I went to you as I always do, to help you get back to sleep. After a minute or two, you were still crying but I HAD TO go to the bathroom... there really was no choice! So, feeling terrible, I left you crying in your crib and left you. I was SHOCKED when, only two minutes later, you stopped crying and were sound asleep. And then you slept. And Slept. And SLEPT!!! From then on you have had amazing night sleep, sometimes going 8 to 10 hours before joining me in bed! I'm so happy for you, for me, for us. Even when you have setbacks (a cold, teething, travelling), it's still wonderful to know that it is possible, and that you CAN do it. It's been a long road, tiny. I think that's what makes it feel even sweeter.
Another huge milestone this month is that we let you be put to bed by someone other than me for the first time. Daddy and I had to go to my work party, and since you just suddenly stopped wanting to be nursed right before bed, I figured you were ready. Muma came over to go through your bedtime routine with you, and we left. I was pretty worried about you, but I was confident that you were ready. And you were! My dear little girl, you were an angel for Muma. I'm so proud of you... and proud of me for not calling even once to check in!
Daddy went away for a week this month and you and I got a little stir-crazy. We were both sick with colds, and it snowstormed for a few days. I love you ... always will... but that week with you was really hard! Sometimes we just need other places and other people to break the monotony and help us not get bored or exhausted. I was mean to daddy and sent him this photo while he was gone though:
Grandma came to visit us, and brought you lots of fun things! You got a sled as an early Christmas present, and some toys and books and a crib skirt that she made for you, to match your room. She was very sad to say goodbye at the end of the trip ... she especially loves how you rotate your wrists.
There is already SO MUCH that I have to write about for your next month, so I'll end this one here!
Love,
Mommy
I'm sorry this letter is so late (almost time for your 9-month letter!). Things have been busy around here and we're all going to be moving soon. More about that later!
This month we took a BIG weekend trip! Your daddy used to play in a band, and we wanted to spend time with all the people he used to play with. We took a 5-hour drive and stayed two nights with Brad and Erin in Huntsville. You were so much fun all weekend, and Erin even said afterwards that she kept forgetting there was even a baby in the house! Thank you for always being so entertaining, accomodating, and just plain cute. You're easy to show off.
This month your sleeping took a major turn... for the better! One night, during your usual half-an-hour-into-sleep wake-up, I went to you as I always do, to help you get back to sleep. After a minute or two, you were still crying but I HAD TO go to the bathroom... there really was no choice! So, feeling terrible, I left you crying in your crib and left you. I was SHOCKED when, only two minutes later, you stopped crying and were sound asleep. And then you slept. And Slept. And SLEPT!!! From then on you have had amazing night sleep, sometimes going 8 to 10 hours before joining me in bed! I'm so happy for you, for me, for us. Even when you have setbacks (a cold, teething, travelling), it's still wonderful to know that it is possible, and that you CAN do it. It's been a long road, tiny. I think that's what makes it feel even sweeter.
Another huge milestone this month is that we let you be put to bed by someone other than me for the first time. Daddy and I had to go to my work party, and since you just suddenly stopped wanting to be nursed right before bed, I figured you were ready. Muma came over to go through your bedtime routine with you, and we left. I was pretty worried about you, but I was confident that you were ready. And you were! My dear little girl, you were an angel for Muma. I'm so proud of you... and proud of me for not calling even once to check in!
Daddy went away for a week this month and you and I got a little stir-crazy. We were both sick with colds, and it snowstormed for a few days. I love you ... always will... but that week with you was really hard! Sometimes we just need other places and other people to break the monotony and help us not get bored or exhausted. I was mean to daddy and sent him this photo while he was gone though:
Grandma came to visit us, and brought you lots of fun things! You got a sled as an early Christmas present, and some toys and books and a crib skirt that she made for you, to match your room. She was very sad to say goodbye at the end of the trip ... she especially loves how you rotate your wrists.
There is already SO MUCH that I have to write about for your next month, so I'll end this one here!
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
7 months
Dear Aven,
My little shaggy-haired girl! I love the way it's starting to grow forward , and also how it slips out over your ears sometimes. It's really beginning to have a mind of its own, especially after you've worn a hat! Now when I look back at your older photos, you look funny and bald-ish.
This month you started drinking from a sippy cup! You like to hold the handles, and you like to drink from it... however, you refuse to do both at the same time! It's very fun to watch you sucking from a spout like a little hamster, though. You also tried some rice rusks called "mum-mums" and you like to scrape away on them with those two little bottom teeth. Usually I hold it for you, but one time i gave you the whole thing and you held it in your hands and put it to your mouth like it was a flute! When you bite a little piece off, you generally know how to gum it into mush and swallow, but sometimes a little piece will stick to your lip and you get very concerned with the little foreign object invading your personal space.
Some babies, I have heard, don't like getting shirts put on over their heads. You've never minded. But HEAVEN FORBID I make you put your arms into a sleeve... or TWO! You have declared jihad on the sleeves. WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT?
Today is technically 2 days past your 7-month mark, but I just have to include these milestones because i'm so excited about them! Yesterday when you were babbling, you started saying "da! da! da!" over and over and now you just can't stop! We're not sure if you really are assigning that sound to your daddy, but who cares... it's adorable and we're telling everyone that you can say "dada". One thing we are sure of, is that today you started waving. WAVING. I was getting things ready to put you to bed, and you were sitting with Daddy in your room. As I walked past your door, I saw him waving at you ... you held out your hand to mirror his and did a PERFECT side-to-side wave! And you have kept doing it all night... so we know it wasn't just a fluke. I have to admit, my stomach got all squirrely and I almost cried when you did it. There was something different about this, as compared to the other new things you've done. It was so responsive, so mature... I can't even describe it, really.
Your nights are improving, but it doesn't necessarily matter because I've come to a point where I don't ever want to be negative about spending extra time with you. It's not always easy to think that way, but sometimes even just rubbing your soft little head against my nose and mouth in the dark of night gives me a warmth that is untouchable. It's so tempting to be frustrated, when you've woken for the 4th time in 2 hours, or you just seem to be cranky for no reason. But I have heard more than one parent of older children say how much they wished they could go back ... they long for those nights nestled in close with their babies instead of waiting up for mr. teenager who broke curfew again. It goes too fast, everyone knows that. And my gut reaction is to roll my eyes and think "well, you aren't the one dealing with the night wakings and crying, so you don't understand!" But they do. One thing you need to know about me is that I like to figure things out for myself; I don't like to be told what to do, and when I receive advice I usually like to make it clear that I've already looked into the issue and I'm well-informed. That I know better. On this one though, I'm taking their word for it. When you wake up, come into bed with me, little one ... we always have such great sleeps together.
Love,
Mommy
My little shaggy-haired girl! I love the way it's starting to grow forward , and also how it slips out over your ears sometimes. It's really beginning to have a mind of its own, especially after you've worn a hat! Now when I look back at your older photos, you look funny and bald-ish.
This month you started drinking from a sippy cup! You like to hold the handles, and you like to drink from it... however, you refuse to do both at the same time! It's very fun to watch you sucking from a spout like a little hamster, though. You also tried some rice rusks called "mum-mums" and you like to scrape away on them with those two little bottom teeth. Usually I hold it for you, but one time i gave you the whole thing and you held it in your hands and put it to your mouth like it was a flute! When you bite a little piece off, you generally know how to gum it into mush and swallow, but sometimes a little piece will stick to your lip and you get very concerned with the little foreign object invading your personal space.
Some babies, I have heard, don't like getting shirts put on over their heads. You've never minded. But HEAVEN FORBID I make you put your arms into a sleeve... or TWO! You have declared jihad on the sleeves. WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT?
Today is technically 2 days past your 7-month mark, but I just have to include these milestones because i'm so excited about them! Yesterday when you were babbling, you started saying "da! da! da!" over and over and now you just can't stop! We're not sure if you really are assigning that sound to your daddy, but who cares... it's adorable and we're telling everyone that you can say "dada". One thing we are sure of, is that today you started waving. WAVING. I was getting things ready to put you to bed, and you were sitting with Daddy in your room. As I walked past your door, I saw him waving at you ... you held out your hand to mirror his and did a PERFECT side-to-side wave! And you have kept doing it all night... so we know it wasn't just a fluke. I have to admit, my stomach got all squirrely and I almost cried when you did it. There was something different about this, as compared to the other new things you've done. It was so responsive, so mature... I can't even describe it, really.
Your nights are improving, but it doesn't necessarily matter because I've come to a point where I don't ever want to be negative about spending extra time with you. It's not always easy to think that way, but sometimes even just rubbing your soft little head against my nose and mouth in the dark of night gives me a warmth that is untouchable. It's so tempting to be frustrated, when you've woken for the 4th time in 2 hours, or you just seem to be cranky for no reason. But I have heard more than one parent of older children say how much they wished they could go back ... they long for those nights nestled in close with their babies instead of waiting up for mr. teenager who broke curfew again. It goes too fast, everyone knows that. And my gut reaction is to roll my eyes and think "well, you aren't the one dealing with the night wakings and crying, so you don't understand!" But they do. One thing you need to know about me is that I like to figure things out for myself; I don't like to be told what to do, and when I receive advice I usually like to make it clear that I've already looked into the issue and I'm well-informed. That I know better. On this one though, I'm taking their word for it. When you wake up, come into bed with me, little one ... we always have such great sleeps together.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
6 months
Dear Aven,
HALF A YEAR! I'm so baffled about where the time went. I feel like summer just started, and that we still have july evening walks to take, and august camping trips to have. But fall is here now, and I have to accept that nothing will ever be still again, least of all you. You're almost sitting up on your own now, you can do straight-arm push-ups, and I won't be surprised if you're crawling by the time I write my 7-month letter.
This past month, like the five before it, is full of firsts. The biggest one is sitting right in the middle of your bottom jaw--and it already has a next-door neighbour! Your first tooth came in on September 24th, and the second appeared within two weeks. Your first didn't seem to bother you much; your second turned you into a little bear. Some days, during your normal happy times, you would just chomp on your fingers and scream in pain ... I felt so terrible for you, my little chonch.
But the day it finally cut through, you were happier than ever, shrieking with happiness and smiling at everyone.
You have also begun to notice that you have two black, furry "siblings" ... you turn your head when you hear the cats, and watch them curiously. Last week, you actually started reaching your hands out to them to feel the strange fluffy surface, and you gave Rooney's ears a little rub. They still aren't sure what to think of you, but they'll adjust.
When you were newborn, you hated your bath. Then, you loved it. Now, you've gone through a hating phase again. I think it has something to do with being reclined; you keep grimacing and trying to do sit-ups if I lay you back. So for now, until you can sit up on your own, we're in kind of an awkward transition phase where I have to support you in the bath, and you splash a bit but aren't thrilled. We'll get through it! The last time you had a bath in the kitchen, I let you play with the mini-sprayer on the sink and you tried to grab the little streams of water... you seemed very confused when you couldn't get a hold of them!
Speaking of holding, you have a very cute new sleeping ritual. Since you are no longer swaddled, I needed to give your busy hands something to hold onto. Enter Dolly. Dolly is a little yellow-and-white striped cloth doll that was handed down from my family. When you lay down in your crib to go to sleep, you roll towards Dolly and hold her tight, stroking and squeezing her. Then you usually reach a hand up to find where my hand is, and lightly touch it and inspect it with your fingertips as you drift off. It's a very precious habit!
You've also graduated to a new carseat, one that will carry you right until you're done with a booster. Although this carseat isn't a carrier like your old one, you fall asleep in it much easier. So, I've had to become a pro at gingerly plucking you out of the seat without waking you!
Your short naps are still in effect, but your nights are generally wonderful! You can now go 8-10 hours before your first feeding (although you always still wake up a few times in the first couple hours, just wanting my company and not being able to get back to sleep on your own). I'm so very glad that you decided to drop the 1/2 am feeding! I was falling asleep in the rocking chair more often than not...
We've come so far, but we still have so far to go, little pumpkin.
Love, Mommy
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
5 months
Dear Aven,
You have so much you want to say, my little girl. You just don't have a way to express it yet! I wish I could just hand you a vocabulary and let you run amok with it, but I have to be patient and let you get there in your own time. One of your new favourite things to do is reach out your little palms like microphones and touch my mouth while i'm talking. It's as if you're a blind person touching a face to see what someone looks like, and I can see it in your eyes that you're learning (so I take advantage of that and repeat "mommy" over and over so that you memorize the sounds!).
You continue to surprise us all the time. About 3 months ago I abandoned using the stroller as a means to get you to take a nap, because you would just get overstimulated and cry, and now we only take walks when you're awake and want to look around. You've even graduated to the smaller "big girl" umbrella stroller. Two nights ago, Daddy and I took you out for a walk after dinner to entertain you until bedtime. Imagine our astonishment when we looked down at you and saw this:
A big development this month is that you started eating rice cereal and some vegetables off a spoon! You knew what to do right away, and you seem to really enjoy having goop shovelled into your smacking lips. One night I left you with Daddy and he was feeding you your evening meal. He said he turned away for a second, and when he looked at you again you had a santa-beard of cereal on your face and were crying! The image is just too cute.
In August we took you on your very first camping trip! It was supposed to be two nights, but we ended up coming home after one night because it was cold and rainy. I think you liked your time there even though it was cut short (you have always loved being outside) and it was fun to be able to bundle you up in multiple layers, hoodies, hats and blankets. I think when we take you next year, you will really be able to understand and enjoy what we're doing there.
Aven, sometimes I still can't believe you're mine. When you wake up and smile at me and reach your warm hands up to me and wave them around, before getting distracted by your own feet, you melt me every time. I'm so glad you came to stay.
Love,
Mommy
You have so much you want to say, my little girl. You just don't have a way to express it yet! I wish I could just hand you a vocabulary and let you run amok with it, but I have to be patient and let you get there in your own time. One of your new favourite things to do is reach out your little palms like microphones and touch my mouth while i'm talking. It's as if you're a blind person touching a face to see what someone looks like, and I can see it in your eyes that you're learning (so I take advantage of that and repeat "mommy" over and over so that you memorize the sounds!).
You continue to surprise us all the time. About 3 months ago I abandoned using the stroller as a means to get you to take a nap, because you would just get overstimulated and cry, and now we only take walks when you're awake and want to look around. You've even graduated to the smaller "big girl" umbrella stroller. Two nights ago, Daddy and I took you out for a walk after dinner to entertain you until bedtime. Imagine our astonishment when we looked down at you and saw this:
A big development this month is that you started eating rice cereal and some vegetables off a spoon! You knew what to do right away, and you seem to really enjoy having goop shovelled into your smacking lips. One night I left you with Daddy and he was feeding you your evening meal. He said he turned away for a second, and when he looked at you again you had a santa-beard of cereal on your face and were crying! The image is just too cute.
In August we took you on your very first camping trip! It was supposed to be two nights, but we ended up coming home after one night because it was cold and rainy. I think you liked your time there even though it was cut short (you have always loved being outside) and it was fun to be able to bundle you up in multiple layers, hoodies, hats and blankets. I think when we take you next year, you will really be able to understand and enjoy what we're doing there.
Aven, sometimes I still can't believe you're mine. When you wake up and smile at me and reach your warm hands up to me and wave them around, before getting distracted by your own feet, you melt me every time. I'm so glad you came to stay.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, August 27, 2007
Roly Poly
This is about a week and a half late, but I've gotten so used to just putting everything on Facebook that I sometimes forget to keep this blog updated :)
On August 17th Aven rolled over for the first time! She was on her tummy on the floor, and I was walking around her room talking on the phone, putting some laundry away. She must have felt left out, because the next time I looked down, she was staring up at me! The look of shock on her face was priceless, and it immediately turned into a smile. I feel bad for the person I was talking to (Christine) because I interrupted her story to shout "OH MY GOSH, AVEN JUST ROLLED OVER!"
She doesn't do it everytime I put her on her tummy, but she has done it a few times since, so I know it's not just a fluke. So crazy ... before I know it she'll be crawling and then there's definitely no looking back.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
4 Months
Dear Aven,
You have become my little friend. You've gone from someone I had to cradle to someone I can hug and squeeze and tickle and laugh with. Yes, laugh ... yesterday was your first real laugh, a little "hee hee!" when I was kissing your tummy on the change table. I can't describe to you how it made me feel. All I know is I can't wait to know you more!
Last week we went shopping together in Stratford, just the two of us. I was a little worried about the trip, since our ride home together from Huntsville was something I don't even want to talk about because it was so difficult. But you were an angel, and I think you actually enjoyed yourself! I tried on dresses while you watched me in the mirror and smiled. You took in all the sights and sounds of the mall with delight. I think you especially enjoyed Claire's; so many things to look at!
Love,
Mommy
You have become my little friend. You've gone from someone I had to cradle to someone I can hug and squeeze and tickle and laugh with. Yes, laugh ... yesterday was your first real laugh, a little "hee hee!" when I was kissing your tummy on the change table. I can't describe to you how it made me feel. All I know is I can't wait to know you more!
Last week we went shopping together in Stratford, just the two of us. I was a little worried about the trip, since our ride home together from Huntsville was something I don't even want to talk about because it was so difficult. But you were an angel, and I think you actually enjoyed yourself! I tried on dresses while you watched me in the mirror and smiled. You took in all the sights and sounds of the mall with delight. I think you especially enjoyed Claire's; so many things to look at!
Love,
Mommy
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